Orthodox Jewish families struggle with soaring cost of religious life in America

Rachel, a certified public accountant in New Jersey with a husband and three children, earns more than $150,000 a year before taxes. In most American households, that salary would support a comfortable middle-class life. For her family, it barely covers expenses—even with help from her parents.

"I'm a CPA, and I go through my expenses every single year," Rachel told The Times of Israel. "I can't make it work." The family does not live lavishly or own an oversized house. The problem is the cost of living as observant Jews in a Modern Orthodox community in New Jersey.

The bills add up quickly. Rachel's oldest daughter is spending a gap year in Israel at a cost of about $35,000 for tuition, accommodation, and expenses. Her other two children attend Jewish day schools with official tuition of $25,000 per child annually. After financial aid and benefits, the family pays $11,000 for their high school daughter and $16,000 for their elementary school son. That totals $62,000 just for education before any other costs kick in.

"People complain about the price of college tuition," Rachel said, "but we've been paying that for years, and that's before college even starts." She wondered aloud: "How does the community afford to keep doing this? I'm not sure."

Rachel is not alone. A 2024 survey of nearly 3,000 Orthodox Jews in the US, conducted by the Kosher Money podcast, found that 78 percent of respondents said finances were a major source of stress. Only about half of those earning $250,000 to $300,000 felt they were "making it." Even above $300,000 annually, more than 30 percent said they felt financially strained.

Zvi, an activist for financial education in the Orthodox world, explained the scale of the problem: "If you do the math, a religious family has to effectively be among the top 3-4 percent of earners in the United States in order to keep up with the costs of living. Basic Jewish needs cost a lot of money."

The costs extend far beyond school tuition. Eli Langer, host of the Kosher Money podcast, listed the pressures: "There is also the cost of kosher food, and of living in neighborhoods that have to be in close proximity to a shul. There are expectations around costly weddings, summer camps, and gap-year programs in Israel. All of this creates enormous financial pressure that many families endure quietly."

Rabbi Simon Taylor, the Orthodox Union's national director of communal engagement, said the problem affects the entire religious community. "Research has shown that this is the single biggest issue affecting the religious community," Taylor said. "And we're looking to create more awareness so we can spread information and financial literacy in as many ways as we can."

The 2024 survey revealed the depth of financial hardship. Two-thirds of respondents carried debt excluding mortgages, and 62 percent relied on parental support for at least one major life expense. Many had low levels of savings and retirement funds. About 80 percent lived in the New York Tri-State area, where Orthodox Jews are concentrated. Some 82 percent reported annual gross income above $100,000.

By comparison, the US median salary in 2024 was slightly over $83,000, according to the US Census. Median salaries in New York and New Jersey were $69,000 and $83,000 respectively. An average family of four needs about $107,000 to cover necessities, according to a 2024 study by SmartAsset.

Shana, another religious mother in Teaneck, New Jersey, illustrates the squeeze. Her family earns $400,000 annually—about $260,000 after taxes. She watches her non-Jewish neighbors accumulate wealth and buy vacation homes. Yet her family feels financially strained. They pay $60,000 yearly for a child with special needs to attend a private Jewish school, $33,000 for a high schooler, and $18,000 for a younger child. Add $21,000 in property taxes and a $2,000 monthly mortgage, and fixed costs reach nearly $160,000.

Shana and her husband do not take tuition assistance from schools, believing it would require cutting back on essentials like retirement contributions. They are saving for a gap year in Israel and upcoming weddings. The family skimps on buying meat because the cost is "astronomical" and rarely takes vacations. "We make sure to set aside enough savings so that we don't feel like we can't afford to repair the car or things like that," Shana said. "But if things were any tighter than this, we would start to feel uncomfortable."

Jewish day school tuition sits at the heart of the financial challenge. Unlike most American households that send children to taxpayer-funded public schools, many Orthodox families pay for private religious schools that provide intensive Jewish studies alongside general education. According to a 2021 study by Nishma Research, only 7 percent of Modern Orthodox families and 1 percent of Haredi families said they would consider taking a child out of Jewish day school for financial reasons.

Zvi explained the priority: "Jewish education is a core value for most observant families, and it's seen as even more essential now with so much antisemitism in the public schools. It's a key to Jewish continuity and keeping our families in the fold, and many consider it a non-negotiable necessity." Many leaders have also promoted day schools as critical to fighting antisemitism, and academic studies have supported the value of religious education for passing on traditions and identity.

Tuition prices vary by location and school type. In many schools, especially in large communities, costs range from $20,000 to $30,000 and above per child annually. In some ultra-Orthodox communities like Lakewood, New Jersey, costs can be slightly lower, but families with four or more children often face tuition bills reaching $50,000 to $100,000 per year. Tuition has risen steadily as teacher salaries, facility maintenance, transportation and other expenses climb. Schools say they operate on tight margins despite high fees.

"It's basically an entire American salary just to cover tuition costs," Zvi noted. This contrasts sharply with Israel, where the public school system offers religious and Haredi education tracks funded by taxpayers. Most schools offer aid through grants and communal support, adjusting payments based on family finances. Higher-earning families often subsidize those who cannot pay full tuition, creating what investment advisor Eli Fried called "a strong safety net." However, he added: "It also creates intense pressure, because many of the people doing the subsidizing don't feel financially secure themselves."

Beyond tuition, kosher food adds significant expense. Kosher meat costs substantially more than non-kosher meat due to specialized production and supervision. Large meals for Shabbat, holidays and gatherings compound the cost. In the Kosher Money survey, half of respondents said they spent more than $400 per week on food, and one-third spent more than $500. For comparison, the average non-Jewish US household spends about $270 per week on groceries, according to a 2023 analysis by HelpAdvisor using US Census data.

Shalom Goodman, who runs a nonprofit advising families on budgeting within the community, noted: "When you're cooking for a large family plus guests every week, it adds up quickly." Housing presents another major pressure point. Because observant Jews prefer to live near synagogues and community anchors, "religious" neighborhoods often command premium prices. In affluent communities, even modest homes can approach $1 million.

Homes within walking distance of synagogues often cost 20 to 30 percent more than identical houses just blocks away, sources reported. Summer camps, now considered essential in many Orthodox circles, add thousands of dollars per child for day programs and even more for overnight programs. "There's an expectation," Rachel said. "If all your kids' friends are going, it's very hard to say no."

Other expenses scale with family size: larger vehicles, higher utility bills, increased healthcare and clothing costs. Families also face "lifecycle" expenses—weddings, post-high school study programs in Israel, and sometimes ongoing financial support for children after marriage. Zvi emphasized: "We're not talking about a situation where you can simply tell people to spend less to live within their means. You can always point to someone taking a nicer vacation or making a more expensive wedding. But even if you strip all of that away, you're still left with a very high baseline."

Eli Fried added perspective on social pressures: "There's a misconception that this is about keeping up with the neighbors. There is no question that dynamic exists to some extent, particularly in a world where people of all different levels of income are bound by common schools and shuls. But the reality is something more nuanced that outsiders usually don't understand. Just because many of us live among wealthy people and send our kids to private schools, it doesn't mean we are wealthy ourselves."

For years, Orthodox Jews rarely discussed financial struggles publicly. That changed during the COVID-19 pandemic, especially after the Nishma survey identified money as the number one challenge facing the Orthodox community. In 2021, Eli Langer launched the Kosher Money show on the Living L'Chaim podcast network founded by his brother, Yaakov, with initial funding from the Orthodox Union. It was the first show dedicated to Orthodox personal finances.

"I think we were a little bit ahead of our time," Langer said. "Our conversations help people realize they're not in this alone, and many have become more open about seeking help." The show has interviewed finance guru Dave Ramsey, Jewish billionaires, and dozens of rabbis and community members, blending religious and ethical views on money with practical budgeting and investing advice. The show has reached "well over 50 million" views and listens across platforms.

"I think one of the most important solutions to the cost-of-living problem is financial education," Langer said. "When we get people talking and thinking about their finances, they live with more intentionality, and that's the best start." Around the same time, the Orthodox Union launched its Living Smarter Jewish initiative, offering free financial coaching on budgeting, saving and long-term planning.

"We're trying to change the conversation," said Living Smarter Jewish program coordinator Ilana Pleeter. "Instead of just talking about expenses, we want people to think proactively about planning and sustainability." Using volunteer coaches around the country, the program says it has assisted more than 4,000 couples, including many newlyweds. Much advice mirrors mainstream personal finance: avoid debt, save consistently and spend intentionally.

However, Living Smarter Jewish also addresses the realities of Orthodox communal life without challenging core religious values like Jewish education and large families. Rabbi Taylor spoke of "frum inflation"—the creeping cost of what becomes normalized in religious communities. At the same time, he noted, many financial problems stem less from extravagance than from poor long-term planning. He quoted former Orthodox Union president Rabbi Moshe Hauer: "'A bar mitzvah is not a surprise party.' It's something families know about for years, and should start preparing for in advance instead of scrambling when the time comes."

Efforts to cut costs are gaining traction, particularly around communal events. High-end weddings can cost $100,000 or more in some places, creating social pressure on less-wealthy families. A newer approach gaining popularity is the "Takana wedding"—a term implying a communal enactment. Many Orthodox halls now offer standardized, discounted packages with preset menus, limited music and amenities choices, and guest caps. The strategy relies on volume.

"Everyone still earns money, because the halls make deals with the bands and photographers where they say, 'We'll keep you busy every night if you lower your prices," Fried explained. "So now you can charge less, because you might have 10 events in a month instead of one." Such weddings can cost 50 to 75 percent less than other events and have become so popular in ultra-Orthodox communities in Lakewood and Brooklyn that some families travel from out of town to marry there.

Fried stressed that the goal goes beyond lowering costs: "One family cutting back on their own can feel embarrassed. But if the entire community is doing it together, then it becomes normal." Meanwhile, efforts to reduce school tuition costs are also accelerating, led by a new government policy from the Trump administration.

The Teach Coalition, founded by the Orthodox Union in 2013, helps Jewish schools access public funding streams that have historically gone underutilized. The group operates in seven states accounting for roughly 90 percent of the US Jewish day school population. "Any government funding and resources to drive down the cost of tuition — we are front and center on," said Sydney Altfield, national director of Teach Coalition.

Until now, the organization focused largely on state-level programs, including STEM funding in New York, universal scholarship programs in Florida and grants for security, arts and music in multiple states. Advocates are now focused on a newly approved federal initiative called the Education Freedom Tax Credit, created under the "One Big, Beautiful Bill Act" and expected to take effect in 2027.

Under the program, individuals who donate to approved scholarship-granting organizations receive federal tax credits of up to $1,700. Those organizations distribute tuition assistance and other educational aid. "In other words, people donating these funds aren't really losing anything, since they recoup the money through tax credits," Altfield said. "We hope that will encourage giving on a much larger scale."

Teach Coalition believes the framework could unlock major new philanthropic funding for Jewish education and has made persuading states to opt in one of its top priorities. "This is a program that we hope will not just change the course of Jewish education, but the course of Jewish continuity," Altfield said.

With costs so high, some families find that moving offers the simplest solution. Ayelet and her family relocated to a town in northern Israel seven years ago when expecting their fifth child, realizing they could not afford to stay. "A lot of the issue has to do with the number of kids you have," she said. "With a small family, things are generally cheaper in the US, but there's a certain point where the numbers flip."

Housing, food and consumer items generally cost less in the US than Israel, and salaries are higher. However, Jewish education and healthcare are covered almost entirely by taxes in Israel. "There are so many variables affecting each family, like where you live, how many kids you have, how much you make," Ayelet said. "There's not a clear roadmap that works for everyone."

Others in the expensive tri-state area are seeking cheaper communities within the United States. Cities in Ohio, Florida and Texas increasingly attract Orthodox families seeking sustainable costs. In some areas, homes cost a fraction of comparable New York region properties, and certain states offer programs that help offset private school tuition through vouchers, tax credits or scholarships. Some communities, like Tulsa, Oklahoma, recruit newcomers with housing incentives and help integrating into schools and synagogues.

"There are many communities across the US that people don't consider because they've never visited, but they are happy to welcome you for Shabbat," Langer said. He noted that young families would benefit from exploring these communities. However, relocation comes with major emotional and social tradeoffs. Orthodox life is deeply communal, and many families are reluctant to leave relatives, schools, rabbis and long-established social networks.

"Financially, moving might make perfect sense," said one Orthodox mother who considered relocating but stayed in New Jersey. "But your entire life is here." Smaller communities may also lack diverse schooling options and developed kosher infrastructure. For now, many Orthodox families remain in place and report contentment. The 2021 Nishma survey found that 70 percent of Modern Orthodox respondents and 89 percent of Haredi respondents believe the additional costs of Orthodoxy are "worth it."

The central challenge looking ahead is whether Orthodox middle-class life in America will remain sustainable for future generations. Rachel reflected on her own situation: "We love this community and this lifestyle. The question is whether regular families can realistically keep doing it."